Dear Annabelle ...

There's a scene in that Google "Dear Sophie" commercial that chokes me up every time I watch it. The ad, if you didn't click the link or haven't seen it, features a Dad writing emails to his newborn/infant/toddler daughter. It's incredibly well done -- and inspired me to write Annabelle emails in her first 16 months.

Anyway, there's this scene. In the middle of all these happy memories, there's one in the hospital. The phrases "really bad fever" and "we felt so helpless" pop up on the screen. And every time I see that, I think: Man, that must be awful. I wonder if we'll ever have that experience with Belle.

And then last Sunday happened.

It actually all started Friday. The folks at daycare called and told us Annabelle, who had been nursing a cough for a few days, had pink eye and needed to come home. Bridget picked her up from daycare, I grabbed the medicine, and we hunkered down for a quiet night with our little goopy-eyed monster.  Belle had a slight fever, too, but we assumed it was just part of the pink eye. We called the doctor and she wasn't concerned. And by Saturday, the eye looked a lot better and Annabelle's slight fever had gone down.

Life, we thought, was back to normal.

But then Belle's fever got worse as Saturday afternoon became Saturday night. It climbed to 102 and then 103. We gave her some Tylenol, sent her to bed, and crossed our fingers that the fever would relent in the morning. It didn't. In fact, it got worse. Belle was lethargic, breathing heavy, and seemingly on fire. The doctor's office told us not to worry until the fever reached 105, but at 104, we called in a bit of a panic. Ten minutes later, we were racing through Cambridge to get to urgent care.

Immediately, the doctor gave Belle a breathing treatment and tried to calm our fears. Her pulse was fast and her oxygen was low. Now we were really getting nervous. The doctor tried to improve the situation for about 20 minutes and then said, "I think she needs to go to the hospital. And she'll need to go in an ambulance."

My mind raced: My daughter? An ambulance? No, she's fine. She's a very healthy girl. There must be some mistake. 

I ran down to the car to get Belle's car seat. We put her in and then placed her on a stretcher so she'd be safe in the ambulance. And then I caught a glimpse of her face -- her scared, confused, perfect face. It was heart-breaking, soul-crushing, and nerve-racking. We were helpless. Bridget went in the back of the ambulance with Belle while I drove home to get an overnight bag and take care of Oscar.

Now, I'm not a big crier. I probably break down once every year or two. But, man, did I cry. I cried after I saw Belle's face on the stretcher. I cried when I drove by the ambulance. I cried when I got the text from Bridget saying they were in Room 33 in the ER and Belle "seemed to be doing okay."

And so Sunday night, tired, scared, and worried, we were admitted to Children's Hospital. While most of New England watched 52" screens and cheered for the Patriots, we watched a 9" screen and cheered for Belle's oxygen levels. Slowly, she started to get better. Her oxygen levels went up and her pulse slowed.

The diagnosis was pneumonia, so we knew we were canceling our plans for a few days. But we didn't care. We stayed at the hospital Sunday night and Monday night, and then came home with a relatively healthy girl on Tuesday afternoon. Belle will have a cough for a while, but our first real health scare was behind us.

Before we left on Tuesday, I opened up an email and wrote:

Dear Annabelle ...

Unwrapping a Girl

On Wednesday, Bridget and I found out we were having a baby girl. It was big news and we enjoyed sharing it.

How we found out, I think, is worth sharing, too.

Before I get to that, I want to talk about why we found out. The answer is pretty simple: Why not? I've had several conversations with people in the past few months about whether we should discover the gender of our bundle of joy before the big day. There are two very different schools of thought on this one.

• One group, the one that doesn't count me as a member, thinks all the magic should be saved for the big day. That moment, they say, that magical moment, when the doctor says, "It's a ..." is the second of a lifetime. 

• The other group, the one I support, likes to plan. We like two magical moments instead of just one. (Because, really, that day is going to be wonderful no matter what.) We like saying, "she" or "he" instead of "it" or "baby." We like buying pink or blue things instead of green or yellow ones. 

There was no question in our case. We wanted to find out. How we'd find out, though, was up for debate. After hearing our baby's heartbeat for the first time in a cold, sterile hospital room, we knew there had to be a better way. (An awkward "thumbs up" from across the room didn't seem like the way to celebrate one of the top 25 moments in our lives.)

Enter my friend, Molly.

Molly, a colleague, is a mother of three. We crossed paths in the kitchen one day and started talking about pregnancy. I mentioned we were going to find out the gender and she shared this wonderful idea: "We bring a card to the appointment and tell the ultrasound technician to write 'boy' or 'girl' on it. Then we go out to dinner that night and find out together -- just the two of us."

Wow. Mind blown. Simple. Brilliant. Perfect.

Bridget loved it, which brings us back to Wednesday. We headed into the appointment, let the ultrasound technician know about our plan, and then watched and waited. Our baby is, apparently, very active, so it took a while to get a clear look at the anatomy. But the technician got it, left the room, and came back with a sealed envelope.

When I heard Molly's great idea, I hadn't thought of the three hours I'd spend back at work with my child's gender on a card burning a whole in my coat pocket. It was brutal. But finally, mercifully, quitting time came and we headed to West Side Lounge in Cambridge. (There was no doubt where to go.) As soon as we sat down and ordered drinks, we took the envelope with shaking hands and tore it open. And there, under a picture of our future daughter, the handwriting was clear:
"Congratulations. It's a girl."

Dozens of visions -- the first smile, ribbons, the first "Daddy," the color pink, dance recitals, softball games, and college graduation -- rushed into my mind. Bridget and I held hands, laughed, smiled, and cried, taking our time to soak it all in. It was a beautiful, memorable moment -- and one that was much sweeter than it would have been in a hospital room.

How did you find out the gender of your baby? We'd love to hear.