Baby Must-Haves for Surviving the First 6 Months

As has been previously documented in this blog, I like to buy things. But what you may not know is that I'm also incredibly cheap. So if I'm going to spend money, I like to know that what I'm buying is the best quality, most highly rated, and also that it is a good deal. This drive is so strong that Mike has accused me of being "a little obsessed" with my internet research. He's even suggested that I quit my job and become a researcher full time. So if anyone knows of a job opening in researching things to buy for Annabelle, let me know. I'm very well qualified and I have great references.

Because of all the hours I put into our baby registry, I feel the need to share with the world the things that we bought that absolutely made our lives easier over the last 6 months. I understand this post will only appeal to about 3 people who are actively gestating, and for that I apologize. But let's get real. All the baby stuff we've posted recently really only appeals to about 3 people anyway, so why not embrace it? So without further ado, here is my list for baby registry must-haves:

1. Fisher Price Rock 'n Play: This was a lifesaver during those first sleepless weeks. Annabelle loved sleeping in it, napping in it, and just hanging out in it. If you are having a baby, just get this. Trust me. Then when they get bored, buy this and clip it to the top. 
2. Aden and Anais Bibs: We got a lot of bibs at our shower. And for the first couple of months I really didn't get what these things were for because clearly I had given birth to a baby that was too advanced to drool. Then at about four months the waterworks started and I have a total drool monster on my hands. We have probably 50 bibs, but these insanely expensive ones are our favorite. They have a snap which is key because all the others with velcro somehow always get stuck to my bras in the laundry.  I'm not sure why it is always my bras and nothing else, but there you go. They also absorb approximately 30 gallons of drool. Register for these puppies because they are exactly the type of thing that you aren't going to want to buy for yourself. 
3. Swaddlers!: They are going to teach you how to swaddle your baby with a regular blanket at the hospital, but no matter how hard I tried Annabelle was always going to break free from my lame swaddle attempts. You are going to want to buy a bunch of these because your baby will sleep so much better when they are not punching themselves in the face. Silly babies. There are many different varieties, of which this straight-jacket one is the most effective, so buy a couple and experiment. Bonus: your baby will look like an adorable burrito when you put them in one of these. 
4. Merlin Magic Sleep Suit: Mike devoted a whole blog post to this thing, so you know it is good. After your baby is done with the swaddle you are going to want this. 
5. Exercise Ball: This is a weird one, but it is actually great for calming down a fussing baby or getting your baby to fall asleep. It was our last line of defense when Annabelle just wouldn't be soothed. 
6. Infant carseat with Snap and Go base: This is probably our most used item over the past 6 months and one that I really didn't understand the need for before Annabelle arrived. I spent loads of time researching the perfect stroller. But what I didn't realize is that your baby isn't really going to use the diesel stroller for the first few months of their life because they are too tiny and can't hold up that heavy head on their own. Plus, if your baby falls asleep in the car, you are NOT going to want to wake that baby up. Sure, you can buy an infant carseat adaptor for your diesel stroller, but those things cost like $60 and I'm way too cheap for that.  Hence, this little system is a must. We have a Graco Click Connect 35 carseat which gets good marks, but the Chicco Keyfit 30 seems to be another favorite. While you are at, get a cover for it. 
7. City Mini GT: This is the aforementioned diesel stroller. We actually do use it quite a bit now that Annabelle is big enough and it is a far superior experience than the snap and go. The snap and go is light and super convenient, but it doesn't exactly corner well or handle the cobbled sidewalks of Cambridge. This stroller is one of the few that is well made, light and easy to fold, and relatively inexpensive (some strollers cost over a grand. Seriously). I also see a lot of people with this UppaBaby stroller which I secretly covet because you can have the baby facing you and you can also add a second seat to it. It is way more expensive and I have no experience with it, but I do have stroller envy when I see it. People also really seem to like the BOB jogging stroller, not so much for jogging but for everyday strolling. It's like an even more diesel version of what we have. It's a little too heavy for what we wanted, but it seems much loved amongst other mommies. 
8. Bottles: Dr Brown's with the level one nipple is the best for newborns. Annabelle acted like she was being waterboarded with the other bottles so this was a real breakthrough for us. 
9. Wubbanub: Annabelle has a deep and profound love of pacifiers but could not keep them in her mouth. These helped. Plus they are cute. 
10. Baby Carriers: At some point you are going to want to use your hands again, but your baby isn't going to be too keen on the idea of being put down. We have the Baby K'Tan for around the house. Then we bought the Ergobaby for when Annabelle started to get heavier and we wanted to take some longer walks outside. They are both awesome and can save your sanity. Babies generally love sleeping in these things and we've been using the Ergo instead of the stroller when Cambridge sidewalks are just too snow-covered. 
11. Baby Seats: For those times when you actually do have to put your baby down, here are a few good options. Annabelle loved the Rock and Play, but we also used the Boppy Lounger. I love that this is called a "lounger." The mental picture I have when I think of Belle lounging is just awesome. Basically, this is a nice little nest where you can put down baby when you need them close, but not in your arms. There is the Bumbo, which Annabelle enjoys quite a bit. It allows baby to sit before they can actually do it on their own. Sort of like sitting training wheels. She started using this at about 3 months. We also have hand-me-down bouncer similar to this from Fisher Price that was good when she was a wee one. 
12. Breastfeeding paraphernalia: If you plan to breastfeed, this cover helps when you are in public or just don't want your boob out in front of friends and family. You are also going to want some sort of pillow when your baby is just a little nugget and super sleepy. I used the unfortunately named My Brest Friend. There is also the popular Boppy, which I think is actually a inferior breastfeeding pillow, but has a lot of value as a pillow for tummy time and for support when your baby starts to sit. One thing you should NOT register for is a pump. Thanks to Obama, your health insurance should cover this. They made it really easy for me at the hospital. You basically just need a "prescription" for one from your healthcare provider. My insurance would have completely covered the Medela Pump in Style (which is a misnomer if I ever heard one), but I upgraded to the FreeStyle. It is great. You'll also need this and this. Sorry. Breastfeeding can be tough at first. And these are my favorite for storage because they lay flat. 
13. Toys: At some point your baby is going to want to start playing with things. Annabelle likes her stacking cups, the Oball Rattle, these links, the Winkle, Freddie the Firefly, her rainforest crib mobile, the Jumparoo, this playmat, the wonder wheel for the highchair, and this mirror because babies are super vain. 

OR, you can skip this list and just buy Baby Bargains. It is amazing and rates everything. 

Introducing the Crazy Pregnant Lady

Hi, my name is Bridget and I’m a lapsed blogger.

In my defense, as I've told my husband numerous times over the past 5 months, I have a perfectly valid excuse for my laziness. I've been busy creating life. And it is exhausting work.

As you have probably gathered from Mike's posts, I’m pregnant with our first child (a girl!). Being pregnant has been a really surprising ride. Mostly because I have not proven to be one of those pleasant, glowing pregnant women you hear about. I am an angry, grumpy, hormonal monster. And I’m growing at an alarming rate. Watch yourselves, people!

I think what initially threw me off is that in all the time I spent daydreaming about having a baby, I never spent more than 5 minutes thinking about what it would be like to be pregnant. In my head, I just sort of glossed over this step. I was more concerned about the getting pregnant bit, and was terrified that at the ripe old age of thirty I was already a barren husk of a woman incapable of creating or nurturing life. Being reasonable is not my strong suit.

After it was established that getting pregnant wasn't going to be an issue, I spent the first 3 months of being pregnant terrified that we would lose the baby. The time that wasn't spent being terrified was spent either sleeping, or downing huge bowls of white rice swimming in butter and Parmesan cheese because that was the only food that I found appealing.  Well, that and Popsicles.  Actually, that is pretty close to my normal diet, so in retrospect perhaps this wasn't pregnancy-related at all.

The second trimester has been relatively symptom-free, aside from the raging hormonal monster I referenced above. This was a side effect that I was not prepared for. I think it is safe to say Mike was even less prepared. When crazy Bridget arrived Mike became panicked. He really didn't know how to handle me. Reason with me? Bad idea. Sympathize? Nope. Ignore? Wrong.  He just couldn't understand how his normally reasonable(ish) wife had become so irrational overnight.

I couldn't really understand it either. The things that I would usually not give a second thought about infuriated me. I developed a terrible case of road rage. I hated everything. I threw fits about not having the right dinner reservations. I would start a fight with my husband and half way through realize I had forgotten what I was upset about. So I just continued yelling.

All the while, I kept hearing from people about how being pregnant was the best time of their lives. The best! That they loved being pregnant. And this just made me feel worse. Not only did I feel bad, but I felt bad about feeling bad. I was already failing at this mom thing. And the only thing I had to show for it was graduating into a higher weight class.

And now? I don’t know whether things all of a sudden changed for me, or whether it was a bunch of small things that turned this around. It helped getting further along in my pregnancy and being able to feel a little less nervous about the health of my baby. Finding out that our “it” was a “she” was also a huge milestone. Once we found out we were having a daughter, it just made things seem more real and personal. And finally, feeling our baby move has made me way more connected to this little being growing inside of me. I finally feel “pregnant” instead of “fat and crazy.”

So now, at 5 months pregnant, I have to say I feel very happy and very lucky. But it had been a bit of a bumpy ride and I think it is important to acknowledge that. It is so easy to get caught up in what you think you should be feeling that you start feeling guilty about your own experience. If there is one thing that I hope to be able to do in these last 4 months, it is to just relax and be in the moment -- whatever that moment may bring.

Of Stationary Entertainers and Maternity Leave

So I was on the internet this evening, doing some innocent research about how much infant childcare is (Note: I am not pregnant. Really. Not. Pregnant.), and I almost spit out my expensive barista-prepared beverage when I looked at some going rates in Cambridge.

$2500 a month? Every month? How do people afford this? And what if, god forbid, you want more than one child? OR, what if you want to have a child and still be able to pay your rent? How do people DO this? I all of the sudden had the urge to run around to every adult with a small child and ask them...SERIOUSLY, HOW? HOW do you DO this? 

Because it isn’t just the $2500/month in childcare. There is also all the other “stuff” that you have to buy so you are properly equipped to have a child. I uncovered a handy baby checklist on a helpful website.

There are over 150 "must-have" items on this list. One hundred and fifty.  Including 5 different strollers: Travel system, traditional stroller, lightweight stroller, all-terrain stroller, and double stroller. Not to mention the stroller accessories! Rain cover, weather protection boot, stroller sunshade, netting, organizer, cup holder, snack holder, and of course, stroller toys (are these different from regular toys? How? Why?!). Why does a baby need 6 different types of entertainers/swings? What exactly is a “stationary entertainer”? Why do a need both a full-size swing AND a travel swing?

And don’t even get me started on maternity leave. Did you know that of 178 countries worldwide, all guarantee some type of paid maternity leave EXCEPT the United States, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea?

I repeat: US. Swaziland. Papua New Guinea.

And look at this graphic:

How is this ok? Instead of the generous leave afforded to women in other countries so they can, you know, nurse and bond with their infants, in the US we have the privilege of taking 12 weeks - unpaid - leave and not losing our jobs. I suddenly had the urge to retreat to my old stomping grounds of Montreal (50 weeks, eh?).

OK. So I added it up. 12 weeks with no paycheck. $2500/month in childcare expenses when I go back to work. Approximately $2.3 million dollars in multiple strollers and stroller accessories. I can’t even start thinking about what college will cost in 2032. Panic sets in. I turn to Mike. I let him know that we can no longer entertain the idea of having children because it is just too damn expensive. His response?

"Baby, we will be just fine. I believe in us."

And that, of course, is the correct response. We will be just fine. We will figure out a way to do it. Millions of people do. And I have no doubt that all the expense and the sacrifice will be totally worth it when we do decide to have that little money pit bundle of joy.

In the meantime, I've put myself on a fiscal diet. More about that in a later post.

But to all those moms and dads out there... For reals, how do you do it? And do you think the rising cost of raising a child is sustainable?