I was sitting at my desk at 11:45 AM this past Thursday. By all measures, it had been a fine and typical morning in the life of an editor. I had just done an interview, had polished up a couple documents, and was about to get ready for an afternoon meeting. Something didn't feel right, though.
Then it hit me: I hadn't heard from Bridget yet.
Now, I know what you're thinking: Ugh. Where's the back button on this damn browser? I don't want to read this sappy prose about how this insufferable couple talks to each other every 10 minutes.
Don't worry; that's not my angle. Well, not completely.
Lately, I'm finding myself fascinated by how couples communicate on a daily basis -- especially at work. Do they text all day? Are they glued to Gchat? Do they call each other once? Twice? Every hour on the hour? Or do they say goodbye in the morning and hello in the evening?
I, like most of you, I'd guess, have seen all of these techniques in action. There's the couple that talks every day for their entire lunch break. (A little too much? Maybe.) There's the couple that seems more like buddies than romantic partners. (Not enough? Maybe.) And there's the couple that seems to have it all together. (They never do, of course, but appearances are powerful things.)
Obviously, there's no secret sauce and no silver bullets. What works for one couple might be a nightmare for another.
Which brings me back to Thursday morning. After my realization, I texted Bridget: "Morning! How was your drive?" She texted back a couple minutes later: "Good, but I hate traffic. I'm really looking forward to seeing you tonight." I'll stop there and spare you the sugar-coated electronic conversation, but that little daily communication is incredibly important to us. It's not always meaningful, but it's a small way to say, "Hey, I'm thinking about you and I want you to know it."
(For the record, we exchanged four text messages during work and three after work when I went to the bar for a bit. I'd say that's pretty average for us.)
I wondered, mostly to myself, if our daily communication would change after we got married last March. We'd always stayed in great touch during the day, which I thought was a pretty great thing. But I wondered if having more security meant we wouldn't feel the need to check in as much. So far, that hasn't happened. It could, of course, but I secretly hope it doesn't.
What about you? How often do you communicate with your partner during the day?
Totally varies for us. We are not really "phone people," and in Ghana it's extra difficult as you could guess as the networks go in and out, or you run out of credit (all pre-paid systems here), no T9 on my silly nokia cheapo phone. That said, when we travel away from each other to do our field work, we talk even less. We give each other the space to work and relax and do whatever it is we are doing. Whoever is traveling generally gets to decide when to call based on their convenience, but on average we will talk every other day while traveling. It makes the return that much better for a face to face conversation instead of brief daily updates... love the blog still...
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting how different every couple is, isn't it? I don't think Bridget and I have gone a day without communicating since we've been married -- and probably even further back than that. I'm not sure how we'd do in Ghana :)
ReplyDeleteI can totally appreciate the value of the return. That must be pretty good stuff.
Glad you like the blog!