Being Okay with 'Mama'

Annabelle woke up at 2:59 AM on Wednesday morning. There was no real rhyme or reason. She wasn't sick, wasn't cold, wasn't ready to wake up. She just started crying, so I went in to make sure she was okay.

She was standing up with her arms out, a couple small tears started to drip down her cheeks. Groggy, wiping sleep from my eyes, I reached down into her crib to get her.

Me: Hi, baby. Are you okay? 

Annabelle: (Crying.)

Me: What's wrong? Are you feeling okay? Do you want to come into our bed? 

Annabelle, with arms reaching toward our bedroom: Mama. Mama. Mama.

Me: Oh, okay. Cool. 

Hun! She wants you ...

One of the hardest things about being a new Dad is when "Dad" isn't the answer. No matter who you are or where you're from, there's one hope we all share: If you love something, you want that thing to love you back. Now, of course, Annabelle loves me (or at least I hope/assume she does), but it's pretty difficult to get a baby stiff arm when you're coming to the rescue or trying to plant a kiss before bed.

It's not just the middle of the night, either. In the photo above, Bridget and Belle are walking hand-in-hand through the magical streets of Disney World. Cute, isn't it? Where's Dad? Well, in public, for some strange reason, Annabelle refuses to hold my hand. Not in Disney World. Not at the store. Not on the street. Maybe she's embarrassed already?

As an uncertain, first-time Dad, this has been tough for me. Am I doing something wrong? Can I do anything better? Will it ever change? Bridget, being the wonderfully supportive spouse, always answers the same way, "She loves you. She just goes through lots of phases. She'll want you all the time someday."

That kind, thoughtful answer rang in my head at 3:01 AM on Wednesday morning. After my initial disappointment with "Mama," I smiled and realized it was the first time Annabelle called for one of us at night. She's growing up so fast and I'm lucky to be sharing the experience with such a wonderful wife.

Then, at 3:02 AM, as I crawled back into bed with Bridget and, now, Annabelle, I felt a tiny hand on my shoulder. And as my smile faded and I put my attention to falling back asleep, I heard a barely audible whisper:

Dada. 

5 Reasons Why I Really Like Disney World ... Now

When Annabelle was born last September, three thoughts raced through my mind:

• "This is one of the best moments of my life."
• "I wonder when I'll sleep for eight straight hours again."
• "This means I have to go to Disney World."

Oddly, the third item created more anxiety than the second. 

I've never liked Disney World. It's too crowded and too happy. Plus, I went when I was 8 and cried most of the trip because I don't like rides. (I was a super fun kid.) So the crippling thought of going again that crept into my mind that beautiful September morning filled me with terror. If you told me our family would be there 15 months later, I would have laughed. Then cried. For at least 15 minutes. But sure enough, this December, last week in fact, Bridget, Belle, and I walked through the gates of the Magic Kingdom. 

I just explained how much I dislike all of this Disney hoopla, so why did we go? Well, most importantly, we thought Belle would like it. Will she remember it? Probably not. But we knew she'd be captivated by the sights and sounds. Secondly, my organization hosts a huge conference down in Orlando every December and we realized it was an opportunity for an affordable vacation. My airfare was covered and we had a discounted hotel room at a nice resort. Why not, right?  

And here's the thing, the turn in my story: I really, really liked Disney. Here are the five reasons why:

1. Belle was mesmerized. Obviously, this is reason No. 1. We spent almost seven hours at the Magic Kingdom and Belle's eyes were pretty darn wide the whole time. (In full disclosure, she slept for an hour.) We went on seven or eight rides (and I survived), participated in plays, saw lots of characters, and some delicious food. This video of a determined Belle on the carousel is pretty adorable.

2. Disney is a good value. I was totally surprised by this. With parking, it cost $227 for two adults and one (free) toddler. That's a nice chunk of change, but we had almost seven hours of memorable fun! And if you get a multi-day pass, the price per day is much cheaper. Yes, it's crowded and yes, you have to wait in lines sometimes, but there's so much to do. One minute, you're on a boat ride and the next you're eating a turkey leg. For comparison, I went to a Patriots game a couple months ago and with (good) seats, parking, food, and booze, my ticket was $250. Both were day-long adventures. Both were fun. But Disney always seems to get unfairly labeled as a ridiculously expensive adventure. 

3. Disney is a well-oiled entertainment machine. Disney knows what it's doing. Everywhere you look, there are great processes in action. The great communication on the tram. The clearly marked wait times for the rides. The spotless streets. The Fast Pass and the intuitive app. The friendly, helpful staff/cast members. Just seeing the dynamic operation in action was worth the price of admission. Nerd rant over.

4. People freakin' love Disney. I'll never wear a Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt or a Donald Duck hat. Adults that go nuts over this Disney stuff frankly scare the bejeezus out of me. But it's fun to watch people be incredibly happy. It's like going to a sporting event or a church just to see what it's all about. It's being a part of things that are bigger than yourself. 

5. The feeling you get when you leave Disney. Your legs are tired, your eyes are tired, and your brain is tired. But when you look down at your exhausted kid(s), you know you just made them really, really happy. And I'm not sure there's a better feeling in the world. 

In conclusion, here are eight words I never expected to write: I can't wait to go back to Disney.