The Baby Boy Bias

Last week, during our family vacation in Seattle, a man approached me and Annabelle at the Chihuly Garden and Glass Exhibition.

"Hey," he said. "I saw you yesterday. I recognize your (San Francisco) Giants hat."

"Oh, yeah, right," I said.

"Yeah, you were reading to your son in the library. I wanted to yell, 'Go Giants,' but it was a library and all."

"Oh, it couldn't have been me then," I said. "I don't have a son. This is my daughter, Annabelle."

"Oh, right, whatever. Well, yeah, go Giants!"

Then he walked away. I chuckled at first, but then I thought, wait, no. No, dude. Not whatever. There's a big difference in what you just said. What if I walked up to you and said, "Excuse me, miss"? So, no. Not whatever.

Baby boy bias, that is, the belief that every father wants only sons and that every small baby who doesn't have super long hair and earrings is a male, is very real. I started experiencing it long before Annabelle was born and now, a full 9 1/2 months later, it's still popping up almost weekly.

It started about halfway through Bridget's pregnancy, when we found out the little bump in her belly was made of sugar and spice. I said I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, and I meant it. But some of my friends didn't believe me. Come on, they said, you tell everyone you don't care because that's what you're supposed to say. But you want a boy, right? Everyone wants a boy.

But why? Why does everyone want a boy?

So I can teach him how to play sports? (Girls play sports.) So I can relate to him? (Dads relate to daughters.) So we can become best friends? (I fully intend to be best friends with Annabelle.) Because I rule over the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros and need a male heir to sit on the Iron Throne? (That's silly, but what a great season finale, right?)

Since Annabelle was born, things have gotten even worse with the baby boy bias. When he walk down the street, people ask about the "little guy's" name. In elevators, they ask us how old "he" is. And when Annabelle wears a blue shirt (like the one in the photo above)? Forget about it. The shirt might as well read: "100% Stud. Proceed with Caution."

Now, sure, I'll admit that Annabelle's gender isn't immediately clear. She's mostly just a squishy lump with a wispy head of hair and no teeth. But why does everyone always think boy first and girl second? Does she need to wear all pink all the time? Tiny, little pig tails? Or should we just get her high heels and a mini skirt, and teach her how to wear mascara?

We hope to have another child someday. And yes, part of me wants it to be a boy. I'd say just about 50 percent of me. The other 50 percent is hoping for another girl. Either way, if they are anything like Annabelle, they'll be absolutely perfect.

In the meantime, I'll just keep correcting people and hope the ripple effect will make people think twice before immediately fist-bumping my little slugger. (And by the way, girls hit home runs, too.)

Tales of Travel

If you asked Bridget to name her biggest concern about about our marriage the day before it happened, she would have skipped the typical ones. She wouldn't have mentioned finances, living situations, or personality clashes. She wouldn't have talked about conflicting schedules, eating habits, or even future children.

Her choice? Travel.

Bridget loves to travel. How much? More than you like ice cream, Christmas, and puppies -- combined. She's the only person I know who went to Australia and India (different trips) in the same year. And that was just the fall. If she had $1,000 left to her name, she'd spend $995 on a trip and $5 on white rice and parmesan cheese at the airport.

As for me, well, travel wasn't really my thing. I've visited about 20 U.S. states in my life, but that was mostly for business. Before this year, my international travel consisted of Canada (Niagara Falls for a few days) and Mexico (Spring Break). Worldly, I was not.

But lo and behold, several months later, we've been to Ireland, France, and, most recently, Mexico. (It's safe to say my better half has opened my eyes a bit.) We also went on a fantastic domestic trip to San Francisco and Breckenridge, Colorado. It's been quite the year and we consider ourselves incredibly lucky to have enjoyed all these adventures.

As we flew back from Cancun on Thursday, I found myself wondering which one I liked best. If I could have gone on only one trip this year, which one would it have been? So here's my list, from worst to first. If you're planning a trip or considering a visit to any of these places, I hope it's helpful:

4. California and Colorado. Don't get me wrong; this trip was amazing, but we have to start somewhere. San Francisco, with its steep hills, fresh air, and delicious food is just about the greatest city on Earth. We took in a Giants game, ate seafood, and met Kenny Bania. And in Breckenridge, we went to a beautiful wedding and were awestruck by the incredible beauty of the mountains and the town center. So why is this No. 4 on the list? We both had to work in California and we'd been both places before.
Best part: Sitting on a riverbank on a perfect day in Breckenridge. Surreal.
Worst part: Staying in a La Quinta just outside Denver. Bridget refused to take off her shoes the entire night.

3. Paris. "Number 3? Really?" Look, Paris is gorgeous. Between the Eiffel Tower, the Notre Dame, Versailles, and Montmartre, I was blown away. Couple that with some adventures -- both biking and boating -- with some good friends from work and we had an absolute blast for 10 days. (The food, the wine, and the people were great, too. Yes, French people were very nice.) But the weather wasn't great, the hotel rooms were tiny, and healthy food options were tough to find.
Best part: Locking up our love on the Seine.
Worst part: Avoiding the cold and the rain.

2. Cancun. For our "official" honeymoon, we stayed at Secrets Maroma Beach, an all-inclusive resort about 30 minutes south of Cancun. Simply put, it was paradise. The most difficult decision we made each day was what time to leave the beach to head to the pool. As if that wasn't hard enough, we then had to decide when to switch from fruity drinks to beer or wine. And then (the nerve!), we had to pick a restaurant for dinner. The food was way better than I expected and the staff was incredibly friendly. The only negatives: At the end, we felt lazy, and food and drinks no longer had value, which felt weird.
Best part(s): Enjoying a couples massage and doing absolutely nothing for five days.
Worst part: Feeling pressured to buy things -- excursions, time shares (optional presentation), and upgraded dinners.

1. Ireland. I cut my teeth on international travel and, of all the destinations, it's the one I want to return to most. Yes, it was somewhat expensive and yes, my knuckles are still fairly white from driving around tight corners on the wrong side of the road. But the country is stunningly gorgeous -- rolling green hills, castles galore, and history seemingly around every corner. We spent time in a handful of cities and towns (including lively Galway) and there are a dozen more I want to see.
Best part(s): Seeing the Cliffs of Moher and staying at the suite at the Ritz Carlton in Enniskery. We'll never stay in a nicer room. Ever.
Worst part: Eating a hamburger in a pub. Hamburgers aren't the same in Ireland. I learned this the hard way.