Seven Things I Learned During My Three Days as a Single Dad

Bridget went to New York City for a short business trip this week. Such a simple, innocuous sentence, but it carries two huge truths with it:
1. It was the first time Bridget spent a night (two, actually!) away from Annabelle.
2. It was the first time I had to hop in the saddle as a single Dad.

We'll be focusing on No. 2 here.

To make a long story short, everything went fine. No fires, no tantrums, no uncontrollable sobbing. There was an incident with poop on the floor, but that was thanks to our furry first born, Oscar. He's such a delight lately.

Anyway, although everything went fine, I did learn quite a bit during my Tuesday-Thursday stretch as single parent. In fact, I counted seven new bits of education:

1. A bag of Russet Gourmet Dark Potato Chips makes a fine dinner. No cholesterol or preservatives. Hand cooked in 100% pure peanut oil. Pure peanut oil, folks. Pure! It's basically the same thing as a well-rounded meal of chicken and vegetables. Just check out these Amazon reviews! Also, stop judging me. We have six more things to discuss.
2. It's really, really hard to put a toddler's hair into an elastic. Up above, you can see my best attempt. It was actually my eighth attempt that morning, but who's counting? This falls into the "why didn't someone teach me this before she was born?" category with the fruit cutting. 
3. Grandmothers are life savers. Annabelle still goes to daycare in Waltham, which is down the treacherous, traffic-filled Route 95. Driving into the teeth of the Boston commute wasn't much fun (for me or Annabelle) every morning, but Grammy/Mimi, who works in Waltham, was kind enough to bring Annabelle home so I could work a full day. Yay, Mimi! (I suppose I already knew this truth about grandmothers, but a reminder never hurts.)
4. Apparently, grilled cheese on a hamburger roll is an inappropriate lunch. "On a burger roll? The people at daycare are going to think we're hobos," said Bridget, when I informed her of my culinary offering for our toddler. "Other people bring, like, gourmet meals." Well, excuse me. I'll have you know she ATE THE WHOLE THING.
5. Reality almost never mirrors your expectations. Whether your vision of the future is positive or negative, it probably won't happen. I had premonitions of "Mama! Mama!" at 3 AM and they never came to fruition. There are tons of biases that can help explain my fears, but I prefer the simple words of Mark Twain: "I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."
6. Baa Baa Black Sheep has some questionable lyrics. I sang it about 40 times in three days and, after a while, you start to get suspicious. Turns out I'm not alone here.
7. Single parents are my heroes. Seriously. My three days were fairly easy, but I honestly can't imagine doing everything all the time. Diaper change? It's you. Throwing food and won't eat? You're up. Sick and needs to go the doctor? Yep, you're on call. Whether you are a single mom or a single dad, you're doing a hell of a job and I bow down to your grit and determination.

If you need me this weekend, I'll be drinking beer and watching The Masters. I think I've earned it.