Sunday, August 18, 2013

A Letter to My Daughter Before She's Born


Bridget’s due date is August 22, which means our baby could arrive at any second. She could arrive before I finish this blog post. She could arrive now. Or now. But as it tends to go with first babies – and if she’s anything like her mother – she’ll be late. (Ohhhh! No, he didn’t …)

More than likely, our baby will arrive somewhere between weeks 40-41, which puts up somewhere around the end of August and maybe into the beginning of September. Or, again, it could be now.

As I was walking home from work the other day, it struck me that I’d probably never again feel the way I do right now. After you have a baby, they say, likely with good reason, it’s never the same. Pretty soon, I’ll have different priorities, understand what it really means to be tired, and know how to change a diaper.

So before that all happens, I want to write something to my daughter to explain how I feel:

Dear Baby, 

First off, sorry about the generic moniker. This isn’t a form letter, but you don’t really have a name yet (at least not one your mother and I are sharing with people), so I had to go with something generic. Also, I’m sorry about using the word “moniker.” You probably won’t know what that means for a while. It essentially means name. I’ll teach you lots of stuff like that in the next 10-15 years before you decide I’m uncool and that listening to your Dad is lame. 

This isn’t getting off to a great start, is it? 

As you can tell, I’m fairly nervous. You see, I’ve never had a daughter before. I’ve never had a son either. You’ll be our first child. By “our,” I mean me and your mother. Her name is Bridget. She’s 31. (I’m 33, in case you’re wondering.) I fell in love with her about three years before you joined our family. She’s pretty wonderful, as I imagine you know by now if you can read this. Even though you’re reading this several years after I write it, I promise you that I still love her a lot. In fact, I love her more every day – even during those rare times when she and I aren’t getting along. People don’t get along sometimes, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t in love. That isn’t to say that everyone who doesn’t get along with someone is in love with that person. I’m really confusing you, aren’t I? Don’t worry. I’ll get better at this parenting thing in the next few months. 

I wanted to give you a snapshot of what life was like before you came. As I said, your Mom and I met a few years ago at a friend’s birthday party. Not too long after, we started dating and fell in love. Then, we got married at this place called Cape Cod. It was gorgeous. In fact, it was probably the best day of our lives. We’ll show you pictures whenever you want. The year we got married, 2012, our friends joked that we went on a lot of honeymoons, which is basically a romantic vacation after you get married. And we did, sort of. We went to Ireland, France, and Mexico, thanks to a Christmas gift, work, and, well, a honeymoon. They were all wonderful trips and we were taking advantage of our time alone together. Your Mom and I are both lucky enough to be well educated and have good jobs. That way, we can buy you things. You’d be amazed at how much stuff you have already. You have lots of clothes and toys because people – your grandparents, our friends, and our co-workers – are excited that you’ll be here soon. (They aren’t as excited as we are, but they seem pretty excited.) 

In short, we’re lucky to have a pretty great life. We live in a really fun city called Cambridge and we can walk to anything we want, like restaurants and grocery stores and parks. And about a year after we got married, we decided we wanted to try and have a baby. (We’ll tell you how that works much, much later.) And, luckily, it took only six weeks before we learned you were already growing inside your Mom’s belly. Almost 10 months later, here we are. We’re waiting patiently for you to decide you’re ready to meet us. We’re expecting you to come any day now. 

And before we meet you and get to hold you for the first time, I just wanted to say three things: First, I’m really excited that you’re coming. I’ve never been this excited about anything in my life. No matter what I’m doing during the day, I think about how you’ll be here soon and how our lives will change. Second, I’m also really nervous. I hope you like me and I hope you don’t get too annoyed when I’m not good at something. I’ve never changed a diaper or held a baby for more than 15 minutes, so this is new territory for me. That brings me to number 3. Please know that I’m always trying my best. Whether I’m changing you into some new clothes that don't quite fit, putting your hair into a misshaped ponytail, or feeding you some disgusting food, I’m trying my best. I won’t always do everything the right way, but I promise I’ll always do everything I can to make you happy. 

I can’t wait for you to get here! 

Love, 
Your Dad

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