The words of the greatest television character of our generation, George Costanza, reverberated in my head when I first heard about this thing called a push present:
"It never ends, this present stuff! Engagement present! Then they get married, you're gonna have to get something for that. Then the baby, there's another present. Then the baby starts getting their presents. I don't even like the Drake."
(Seinfeld fans will remember that no one likes the Drake in the end, especially after charity got all the gifts. Those of you who aren't Seinfeld fans should think long and hard about why you don't like hilarious things.)
Pregnancy comes with lots of opinions. Name your child this. Don't drink that. Eat this. Don't lift that. It's the push present, though, that may be the most polarizing issue. For those of you who don't know, a push present is a gift to a mother that celebrates the birth of a child. Essentially, it's a way to say, "Hey, you just had a really tough 10 months and went through an enormous amount of pain, so here's this token of my love."
The whole push present deal really comes down to two questions:
1. Should I get one for her?
2. What should it be?
(Of course, No. 2 is moot if the answer to No. 1 is "no.")
Let's tackle No. 1 first. Should I get a push present for Bridget? I decided to do some quick research about the push present business and found that it really only started in 1992 -- at least that's the first time the phrase was published. (So much for a long, meaningful tradition.) A 2007 BabyCenter.com survey found that 38% of 30,000 women received a push present. Fifty-five percent wanted one. Forty percent said the baby was enough of a gift.
Hmmm. Good information, but it certainly didn't make the decision for me.
I asked a few people at work and got varied opinions. Some women skipped my first question and just asked what I was getting Bridget. One of my male friends, on the other hand, had a priceless reaction when I asked him if he planned to get a push present for his wife: "A what now? Are you serious? No, I don't think so. No." Other male friends have opted for diamonds. (Thanks, jerks. Isn't there a homemade breakfast-in-bed you should be preparing in your Italian villa?)
I still couldn't decide.
And again, I couldn't help but think of George's wise (and angry) words. He's right about presents, as he was about most things. We're trained to buy gifts for everything. And in my experience, the gesture seems to mean more than the gift nowadays because most people just buy themselves what they want. Sigh.
Still, I decided yes. A first baby is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and my darling Bridget had sacrificed a lot in 2013. I also decided that I'd wait to see her push before I chose a gift.
That brings us to question No. 2: What should I get? I had decided I would get either a massage gift certificate or this Patagonia winter coat. Then, after seeing my tough-as-nails wife endure a great deal of pain and witnessing the amazing moment, I, of course, got both gifts. (Plus, I got her some sour gummy worms because she really likes those.)
Is it the most romantic gift ever? No. But the massage will make Bridget feel wonderful for an hour and the coat will keep her warm when she takes Belle on long walks this fall and winter. Plus, the gift resulted in a lot of happy tears, which is always a good thing.
Of course, now I have to think of a Christmas gift. And that's only if we decide not to exchange gifts on Columbus Day this year ...
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